


You Must Fall in Love Three Times

by chocolatecrack



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: Canon Compliant, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, M/M, Romance, Yamada-centric, because i love writing yutoyama's history, fluff?, idek what these tags are anymore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-24
Updated: 2016-08-24
Packaged: 2018-08-10 14:49:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7849357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chocolatecrack/pseuds/chocolatecrack
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At twenty-three, here he is. And there he was. They never really said that you had to fall in love with three different people. Just three times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Must Fall in Love Three Times

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this really nice quote by an unknown person, and also that clip of Yuto interrupting Yamada while he was talking to the camera, some BTS of whatever, and he repeated "Nakajima Yuto," so many times I had to combine it with that quote I saw and write a fic about it. BTW IF SOMEONE IS FAMILIAR WITH THAT BTS CAN SOMEONE SEND ME A LINK TO AN HQ VERSION OF IT. Or like just tell me where it's from? I've been looking EVERYWHERE and I still don't know where it's from I'M SAD. Hahaha, anw. Here, have another fic! I tried to use a different creative format for this one, roping in the actual quote. I really like the ending for this, so I hope it doesn't disappoint. And thank you so so much for all the comments and kudos to the earlier fic, it motivated me to write this one! Yay! Title comes from the quote itself. Un-beta'd. chocolatecrack @ LJ, scenesinmoonstruck @ tumblr, tobikko_2007 @ twitter if you wanna talk!

_Before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times._  
  
_Once, you must fall in love with your best friend, ruining your friendship forever._

* * *

 

They were thirteen. _Thirteen_ , for Christ’s sake, he was currently side-eyeing himself right now.

Who falls in love at thirteen? That wasn’t possible. He was too young, too naïve, too much of a childish insecure mess to even process something as serious as “falling in love.”

But he had known him for two years now. Two years since the sweet boy had put his arm around his neck and said, “From now on, let’s always be together,”

He was eleven and, goddamn it, if he had just known that he was going to be falling into a pit of butterflies in the stomach and fluttering hearts and electric touches then he would have just refused. Declined the offer to always be together. Tell him that he has other friends (even though he doesn’t) or that he can get along with all the other Jrs. (not as much as with him though) or that he can survive on his own (really, he can’t).

But it was too late. The other boy had given him a toothy smile paired with those eyes full of wonder and he knew then he was in for the ride of a lifetime.

They had been best friends since then.

And now they were thirteen, always paired together, going home together, taking the train together, training together, singing together.

Together, together, _together_.

They were inseparable, the two of them. A package deal no one can dare split apart.

He was falling in love with his best friend.

At the ripe of age of _freakin’ thirteen_.

How was this even a thing?

Was this normal? Did thirteen year old boys really feel like this?

He doesn’t know, doesn’t understand, can’t comprehend if he ever will.

And really, he was afraid.

Because what if the feeling isn’t reciprocated? Not that he was going to tell, of course. He wasn’t _that_ crazy. But it felt like such a betrayal not tell, too. He had the right to know, didn’t he?

Here he was, harboring feelings while his best friend doesn’t have a clue.

This was bad.

And boy, does he have it bad as well.

 

* * *

_This will teach who your true friends are, and the fine line between friendship and more_.

* * *

 

He thinks he should tell. Definitely should, actually.

Because this was completely unfair to him.

But it’s hard. _So hard_. And it puts a strain to their friendship because sometimes he would get caught while deep in thought, and when asked what’s going on, he would answer that it’s nothing.

Of course, nothing meant _everything_ , and he was too damn transparent. So the slightly taller boy would misunderstand and sense that he had been hiding something completely different.

No, no, no.

This was not going well.

 

* * *

_Once, you must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect_.

* * *

 

They’re both a little bit older now.

And _ugh_.

Tall figure. Lean body. Brown, _haunting_ , eyes. Black hair, always so perfectly coiffed in that messy-sexy sort of way. Legs that go on for _days_. Arms that look so strong yet so fragile. Broad shoulders. Collarbones that jut out underneath that black shirt, like an invitation. That neck he just wants to bite into. And that Adam’s apple that bobs up and down every time he gulps.

Lips.

Ah, his lips.

Shaking his head, he wakes himself up from his trance because he had realized that he was freakin’ ogling at him and _okay, stop now, he’s going to notice_.

But then he talks and just, _ugh_ , that voice of his was going to be the death of him some day.

And he sings, and dances, and plays drums, and acts and he’s the whole goddamn package, it’s so overwhelming.

Not to mention, he always manages to get on top of everything.

_How?_

He doesn’t understand.

Why was he so in love with him?

Okay fine, maybe it was hard not to, considering he had just listed every single reason there is to fall for him, but it’s just…

He was also unbelievably kind, considerate, understanding, he lights up the whole room when he enters, and he’s _so sugary sweet_ about everything he does. Especially to him.

Sometimes only to him.

And it’s unfair because no one, _no one_ , has the ability to be this perfect.

But he manages to.

And it makes his heart skip a beat.

 

* * *

_You will learn that no one is perfect, and that you should never be treated as any less than you deserve_.

* * *

 

But he’s stubborn. Oh-so stubborn. Sometimes a little selfish. Maybe a little too perky.

And that pride of his will be his downfall.

But the thing is, all those imperfections? It makes him who he is. It helps him grow into a better person. It makes him _human_.

And he realizes he’s falling in love even more.

 

* * *

  _And once, you must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you._

* * *

 

He doesn’t exactly know when it starts.

He does know, though, that they had tried to one up each other before. Some unspoken challenge that they seemed to have non-verbally agreed on.

But when does it start?

Maybe when they were eleven, when they had just met. Or when they were thirteen, always getting paired for dances. Or at fourteen, when they entered the big leagues.

Fifteen, when they had a falling out.

Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen. Years of pure agony because of the constant arguments and isolation and misunderstandings.

 

* * *

_This will teach you about who you are, and who you want to be_.

* * *

 

He had never wanted to take away his thunder. He wanted to combine theirs together. Someone told him one day, while practicing some last minute dance with all the other Jrs., that the two of them combined was _magic_. Like they could set the world on fire, watch it burn, and rise above the ashes.

But his longing to be on the same level had been taken the wrong way, and while he admits that some of it is his fault, he didn’t expect for it to end up the way it did.

He always aimed for the top, getting himself and the group to places so they can all succeed together.

But he, himself, had the unfortunate trait of being stubborn. So he understands.

No one was trying to back down from the fight.

Sure, no one started it, and no one expected it would be as big as it is now.

But no one made the effort to end it either.

Until.

 

* * *

_And when you are through with all that, you learn that the people who care about you the most are the ones that you hurt. And the ones that hurt you are the ones you needed the most._

* * *

 

Just before the year they both turn nineteen, he had decided that this would be enough. He didn’t want to lose him more than he already did.

He missed his best friend. He missed the one person who knew was so perfect but also imperfect all the same.

And he was still so goddamn in love with him.

So he decided to do something about it.

 

* * *

_But most of all, you learn that love is only a concept,_

_and is not something that can be defined._

_It is different to each person that experiences it._

_And you will learn to respect each and every person on this Earth,_

_knowing that everyone only wants to be loved._

* * *

 

He stares at him, because what else was there to do, really?

The boy was attractive. And mesmerizing. And kind of, sort of, maybe overwhelming too, if he thought about it well enough.

Someone once told him that before you can grow up, you must fall in love three times.

And well, he _has_ grown up. They all have.

At twenty-three, here he is. And there he was.

 _You must fall in love with your best friend. You must fall in love with someone you believe to be perfect_. _You must fall in love with someone that is exactly like you._

They never really said that you had to fall in love with three different people. Just three times.

Because, it's just…

It’s him.

It's so unthinkable for it to be someone else.

His best friend. His imperfectly perfect best friend who is exactly like him.

He has fallen in love with him, once. Twice. Three times.

“Nakajima Yuto,”

He says, letting his mouth wrap around the letters forming his name. The beautiful combination of consonants and vowels and he can’t believe something so simple can be so _breathtaking_.

“Nakajima Yuto,”

He repeats, wanting to say it over and over again, like a prayer.

“Nakajima Yuto,”

The other boy finally lifts his head, looks at him softly while he smiles.

“Hmm?”

And it was just a mere friction of vocal chords, but it sounds like _such a hallelujah_.

“I’m so in love with you,”

 _Finally_.

He lets out one breath. Two. Three. And it’s taking _so goddamn long_ for Yuto to respond. If this gets a beat longer he’s going to pick his feet up and run away. As far as possible, as fast as he can.

But then he’s frozen in the spot, in his small apartment complex, standing at the space between his living room and the tiny kitchen. Yuto, in all his raven-haired, tall figured, lean bodied glory, stands from the couch and takes careful steps towards him, and he _doesn’t freakin’ know what to do_.

Breathe, Ryosuke.

Breathe.

There’s that smile again. Glassy eyes. Is he going to cry? He can’t cry, shouldn’t really, because if Yuto cries then he’s damn well sure he’s going to cry with him.

But no.

Yuto takes his hands, links both of theirs together, and steps even closer.

And closer, and closer.

Until.

“Took you long enough,”

The whisper sends shivers down his spine.

But the kiss that followed was even more spine-tingling.

 _Finally_.

**Author's Note:**

> This is sort of my version of trying to tap into Yamada's thinking. Even though I don't think this is still how he thinks because I'm pretty sure he thinks of waaaaay more things, haha! Tried my best though! :) And I think I'm joining the yyexchange, I just have to set up my application. Anw, thoughts?


End file.
